14 Comments
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Meg Beliveau's avatar

I love your writing and I love you. Moving. <3

Kat Koh's avatar

I love you too, Meg. Thank you so much for reading 🫶🏼

Claire Coley's avatar

There’s so much to take from this one, beautifully put. I haven’t seen Hamnet yet, but this essay has made me scoot it up the list 🖤

Kat Koh's avatar

Thanks, Claire! Would love to hear what you think of Hamnet, if/when you give it a watch. Also curious whether Brits also think of Shakespear's Hamlet as one of the best plays of all time (if not THE best)

Brandon Lee Weaver's avatar

Truly beautiful. How I have missed your writing. The quest to forgive and love the entirety of our broken parents must take a lifetime. I wonder if our kids will say the same.

Kat Koh's avatar

Hi dear friend! Your gentle nudges got the ball rolling on this one. I couldn't have put it better... why is it so hard to remember our parents are human? And in my case, still kind of a child? If our kids do say that, I think I'd be humbled and very irritated at the same time :D

Brandon Lee Weaver's avatar

I plan to be humbled and irritated 😂

Rachel Parker's avatar

Wow this was an incredibly moving read. Kudos to you for your ability to see your father as a whole and imperfect person. That must take an incredible amount of self awareness and empathy.

I can so relate to that strong pull to stay safely tucked in your own imagination. Hamnet was so intense I couldn’t finish it! Has the somatic therapy helped you? Any specific pointers? Thanks for sharing this!

Kat Koh's avatar

Rachel! Thank you for your comment and kind words. I feel quite seen 🥹

You’re not the first nor the last person to DNF it, I bet! I don’t think I can fully recommend it to mothers due to how agonizing some parts are to watch.

The somatic therapy has done wonders. I think these helped me most: somatic meditation / Tibetan yoga; dance, EMDR/brainspotting; and hardest of all: healing my relationship with my dad then forgiving him.

Would love to hear what you’ve tried and what’s worked!

Rachel Parker's avatar

I’m a mom so I will use that as an excuse as to why I couldn’t get through. I could feel where the plot was going and had to end it before I got to the sad part. What I watched was fantastic though!

I am just barely starting to dip into this and mindfulness meditation is all I’ve really tried so far. This is the best retention rate I’ve ever had with meditation though. I use an app called The Way with Henry Shukman. It’s so simple to use, which keeps me engaged with it.

I really appreciate your tips and will be checking some of these out too!

Kat Koh's avatar

Thanks for the heads up about The Way! Hasn’t heard of it, but always looking for good meditation apps to recommend to my clients and try out myself :)

Sarah's avatar

This is beautiful, resonant, and deeply healing. Thank you.

Kat Koh's avatar

Hello, Sarah! I’m so glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and letting me know.

CansaFis Foote's avatar

…there is something to hypnosis and acting, herzog used to imploy it a bit as well, maybe just hypnosis and everything, but especially a purposeful non advertising driven one for the sake of collective art…